Ah, the sweet sound of a dictator hitting the pavement. On January 3, 2026, Uncle Sam’s finest swooped into Venezuela like a hawk on a fat rat, nabbing Nicolás Maduro and his better half in a blitz that left the socialist paradise in shambles. Military strikes hammered key spots, and by dawn, the guy who’d turned oil-rich Venezuela into a beggar’s banquet was en route to face justice in the land of the free. Revelations poured in fast: Maduro’s regime had been rigging elections, cozying up to narco-thugs, and starving his own people while pocketing billions. The Venezuelan opposition danced in the streets—well, the ones not dodging looters—and exiles worldwide lit up like Christmas trees. But the world? It’s a mixed bag of high-fives and hand-wringing, as predictable as a politician’s promise. Let’s dissect the reactions, peg ’em to the freedom-totalitarian scale (where 100 is pure liberty and 0 is gulag chic, per the latest tallies), and see if anyone surprised us. Spoiler: Mostly not.
The Allies of Autocracy: Condemning the Boot with Forked Tongues
Start with the usual suspects, the folks who’d defend a tyrant if he promised them cheap gas. Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs howled about “armed aggression” and a “direct threat” to peace, as if Putin hadn’t been propping up Maduro like a wobbly bar stool. Russia’s freedom score? A dismal 13 out of 100, Not Free—think frozen tundra for dissenters. Expected? Like snow in Siberia. These guys have been Maduro’s sugar daddies, shipping arms and hackers to keep the regime afloat. No shock they’re miffed; it’s like losing a pawn in their global chess game against the West.
China’s Foreign Minister Wang Yi chimed in, shocked—shocked!—at the U.S. “recklessly using force” and violating sovereignty, demanding Maduro’s release. He sniffed that no country should play “world policeman.” Pot, meet kettle: China’s at 9 out of 100, Not Free, where “sovereignty” means squashing Uighurs and Hong Kongers. Utterly expected from the land of the Great Firewall; Maduro was their oil spigot in the Americas, and now it’s capped.
Cuba’s President Miguel Díaz-Canel blasted it as “state terrorism” against “Our America,” standing in solidarity with the Venezuelan people—or at least the ones not fleeing his own island paradise. Cuba clocks in at 12 out of 100, Not Free, a communist relic where criticism earns you a one-way ticket to the slammer. Predictable as a Castro rant; Havana’s been Maduro’s ideological twin, swapping repression tips over rum.
Iran’s Foreign Ministry decried a “blatant violation” of sovereignty, urging the U.N. to slap back. Score: 12 out of 100, Not Free, where ayatollahs rule with an iron fist. Expected? Absolutely—the mullahs saw Maduro as a fellow anti-Yankee warrior, funneling drones and dreams of hemispheric havoc.
North Korea called it a “high-handedness act” by a “rogue” U.S., violating the U.N. Charter. Their score? 3 out of 100, Not Free, the bottom of the barrel. Kim’s hermit kingdom treating this like a family affair? Yawn.
Belarus’s President Alexander Lukashenko “categorically condemned” it as aggression. Score: 8 out of 100, Not Free. Europe’s last dictator siding with another? Shocking as a rigged ballot.
The Left-Leaning Neighbors: Hemming, Hawing, and Hypocrisy
Latin America’s lefties mostly tut-tutted the intervention, proving ideology trumps irony. Brazil’s President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva labeled it a “very serious affront” to sovereignty, joining a joint statement with Spain, Chile, Colombia, Mexico, and Uruguay rejecting the “unilateral” actions. Brazil’s at 72 out of 100, Free but wobbly—enough liberty for protests, but Lula’s no stranger to socialist sympathies. Expected from a guy who’s pals with every pink-tide pol south of the Rio Grande.
Mexico’s President Claudia Sheinbaum “strongly condemns and rejects” the breach of the U.N. Charter, urging an end to aggression. Mexico: 60 out of 100, Partly Free, plagued by cartels and corruption. Predictable; she’s from the leftist Morena party, and Maduro’s fall hits close to home for anti-gringo types.
Colombia’s President Gustavo Petro demanded U.N. and OAS meetings, rejecting “aggression against sovereignty” and beefing up border troops. Colombia: 70 out of 100, Partly Free. Expected from a former guerrilla turned prez; he’s been soft on Maduro’s migrants flooding his country.
Honduras’s President Xiomara Castro called it an “affront” and kidnapping, solid with Maduro. Score: 48 out of 100, Partly Free. Leftist leanings make this a no-brainer.
Nicaragua condemned it, claiming peace was “gravely hurt” and demanding release. Score: 19 out of 100, Not Free. Ortega’s thugocracy? Totally on brand.
Chile’s outgoing Gabriel Boric condemned violence and interference, while incoming José Antonio Kast hailed it as “great news.” Chile: 93 out of 100, Free. Mixed bag, but Boric’s lefty stance was par for the course.
The Freedom Fighters: High-Fives for the Hammer Drop
Now, the bright spots—leaders who saw Maduro’s ouster as the trash takeout it was. Argentina’s President Javier Milei popped off on social media: “Liberty advances, ¡Viva la libertad, carajo!” Calling it “excellent news for the free world” after Maduro’s election-rigging. Argentina: 85 out of 100, Free (upgraded under his chainsaw reforms). Expected from the anarcho-capitalist rock star; he’s been torching socialist sacred cows since day one.
Ecuador’s President Daniel Noboa warned “narco Chavista criminals” their time’s up. Ecuador: 70 out of 100, Partly Free. Gutsy, given his own cartel woes—totally in character.
Paraguay’s President Santiago Peña approved, saying it “can only bring good news,” tagging Maduro’s cartel as a terrorist threat. Paraguay: 65 out of 100, Partly Free. Expected from a right-leaning leader tired of regional rot.
Peru’s President José Jerí welcomed a “new era of democracy and freedom,” offering repatriation for exiles. Peru: 66 out of 100, Partly Free. Spot on for a country that’s danced with dictatorship.
Israel’s Foreign Minister Gideon Sa’ar commended the U.S. as “leader of the free world,” hoping for democracy minus the “axis of terror and drugs.” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu backed the “strong action.” Israel: 74 out of 100, Free. Expected; Maduro was Hezbollah’s buddy in the backyard.
Kosovo’s President Vjosa Osmani stood “shoulder to shoulder” with U.S. resolve against tyranny. Kosovo: 56 out of 100, Partly Free. Grateful nod to their own liberation—poetic justice.
North Macedonia’s Foreign Minister Timčo Mucunski welcomed the arrest. Score: 68 out of 100, Partly Free. Balkan solidarity against bullies.
Albania’s Foreign Minister Elisa Spiropali: Full support as a NATO ally defending democracy. Albania: 67 out of 100, Partly Free. Expected alliance play.
The Fence-Sitters: Neutrals with a Side of Caution
The middle-ground muddlers urged dialogue and law, like referees in a bar fight. France’s President Emmanuel Macron praised ditching the “Maduro dictatorship” but slammed the method as violating no-force rules. France: 89 out of 100, Free. Somewhat expected; Gallic flair for criticizing America while enjoying the results.
Germany’s Chancellor Friedrich Merz noted Maduro’s ruin but called the legalities “complex,” urging orderly transition. Germany: 94 out of 100, Free. Teutonic caution—par for the course.
Canada’s Foreign Minister Anita Anand opposed Maduro’s repression but called for international law respect. Canada: 98 out of 100, Free. Polite hedging, eh?
The U.K. wasn’t quoted directly, but aligns with EU’s mixed take: Maduro lacks legitimacy, but uphold the Charter. U.K.: 93 out of 100, Free. Stiff upper lip expected.
Italy’s Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni supported transition but opposed intervention—unless defensive against narcothreats. Italy: 90 out of 100, Free. Right-wing pragmatism.
Spain’s Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez refused to recognize the violating intervention. Spain: 90 out of 100, Free. Leftist tilt makes sense.
The E.U.’s Kaja Kallas called for restraint while slamming Maduro’s illegitimacy. Mixed, as befits a bureaucracy.
The U.N.’s António Guterres was “deeply alarmed” by the “dangerous precedent,” demanding Charter respect. Neutral body, predictable pearl-clutching.
The Trump Card: America First, and the World Follows (Grudgingly)
And then there’s us, the U.S. of A., where President Trump orchestrated the whole shebang, hauling Maduro stateside for trial on narco-terrorism charges. Our score: 84 out of 100, Free—down a tick from yesteryear’s partisan squabbles, but still the gold standard. Expected? Hell yes; America First means no more tolerating backyard despots who flood our streets with drugs and migrants. Revelations keep coming: Maduro’s ties to Hezbollah, billions siphoned to Swiss accounts, and a rigged 2024 vote that even his allies blushed at. The ouster’s a win for liberty, exposing the totalitarian club as a house of cards. If the whiners don’t like it, maybe they should try freedom sometime. It’s addictive.